


those eggs aren't dippy

by undread



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst, Confusing, Ishimaru Kiyotaka as Ishida | Kiyondo, It's brief dw, M/M, Tenderness, inspired by maxim i love you because what ishida centric fic ISNT, is mental illness innit, you know when the fuck it takes place
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:01:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27667169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undread/pseuds/undread
Summary: see me singing sideways, hang me from the highway
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 8
Kudos: 50





	those eggs aren't dippy

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [MAXIM, I LOVE YOU](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24260329) by [HATECADILLAC](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HATECADILLAC/pseuds/HATECADILLAC). 



> i wanted this to be a little confusing but it might be ,,,, a little overboard it might just be disorienting i am so sorry

He's been alive for two days and he could die at any moment.

He was born in such a way that he isn't particularly sure if he's alive. He could be a lot of things. He could be a genuine person, a replacement for Kiyotaka, he could be the combined product of Kiyotaka and Mondo's souls like the hall monitor in his brain loves to claim, he could be the hall monitor himself. He doesn't know what he is or _why_ he is but he _is._

Feeling things is hard. Walking is hard. Being in a body is a challenge for him, being in Kiyotaka's body couldn't be harder. It's stiff, straight, it never rests, it's not meant for him. He wonders if Mondo's body would have been better. A lot of things about Mondo would have probably been better, but Mondo isn't here, so Kiyondo will never know. Mondo's body wasn't meant for him either, he supposes. If Mondo was alive Kiyondo wouldn't exist. He doesn't know if that's a good or bad thing. Taka would absolutely be living a much better life, or he would have lived a much better life, because Taka is dead now? It's a question. Kiyondo doesn't know. He is happy for the life he has, on the other hand, but he knows it isn't going to last. He isn't a moron, as much as everyone seems to think so.

Everyone is so painfully, hideously nice about it. They know he's wrong. Not something about him is wrong, he just _is wrong._ Taka was always a little wrong, but they kindly treat Kiyondo like a freak of nature. He is one, he thinks, maybe, he's not sure. They still don't need to make him feel like it. Bad looks and harsh words are disguised with smiles and pleasantries and Kiyondo wants to snap each and every one of them in half.

He's in Taka's dorm and he doesn't actually remember getting here. Aimlessly wandering the school became part of his routine pretty much as soon as he came into existence. Sometimes it was Taka, the little bit left of him in the back of Kiyondo's mind, telling him about the areas, telling him about all the things he remembered doing, usually with Mondo. Sometimes he would just wander, end up at a dead end, slam his head on the wall and turn around. Makoto asked him how he got the bruise on his head, once, and Kiyondo was genuinely surprised that the kid cared. Kiyondo didn't tell him, of course he didn't.

He bangs his head on the wall in his dorm. He bangs once, twice, three times, it's loud and he isn't sure if the soundproofing- the rooms are soundproofed, he doesn't know how he knows that- is enough to keep others from hearing. If they can hear, no one comes for him. He could crack his skull and bleed out on the floor and no one would know. No one would mourn Taka's body, the hall monitor informs him, no one would really _care enough._ Taka mourned Mondo's body. Taka mourned Mondo's body so much it killed him and replaced him. Maybe that's what Kiyondo was, really, a product of mourning, maybe he would go away if Taka healed. But Taka is dead now? He still isn't sure. Taka doesn't really care if he's alive or not.

Kiyondo wonders, sometimes, why Taka is there, in his head, why Taka is there and not Mondo, if the prefect claims that he is them both. Taka doesn't know and the whitette doesn't either, but really they both know very well. Mondo had everything to do with Kiyondo and nothing to do with Kiyondo. Alter Ego is a comfort for both of them. It makes Kiyondo feel like he has that missing puzzle piece, like Kiyondo truly was built from Taka and Mondo's souls coming together, like he truly is a combination of them both. It makes Taka feel like nothing is wrong when things couldn't possibly be worse. Taka is happy, for a short bit, talking to bro through Alter Ego. When Taka is happy, Kiyondo's head is filled with pleasant images, Taka and Mondo in the center of it all. The scenes mean just as much to Kiyondo as they mean to Taka. Sometimes the two are on a beach, and there's a sunset that looks too beautiful to be real, it's pleasant and Taka would imagine such a usual, cliché thing, wouldn't he? Other times the images are just of the raven-haired boy and Mondo sharing a bed, taking a bath together, eating dinner. The images are always underlyingly romantic- the kind of image a historian would look at and claim they were _just good friends._ Every image has equal importance to them both.

Kiyondo hates nothing more than needing to share the laptop. He isn't actually supposed to share it, he isn't supposed to have it period, Kyoko's orders, but he doesn't care that much about Kyoko and he sure as hell doesn't care about the person trying to take his and Taka's bro. Hifumi Yamada is a waste of space and if Kiyondo didn't know any better he would have murdered the pervert the moment he laid a hand on Alter Ego. He thinks about stabbing him, he thinks about doing it right through the stomach. His imagination makes Taka cry, Taka sobs and cries because he saw what happened to Mondo and he really does see a bit of Mondo in Kiyondo and he doesn't want to lose his bro again. Taka doesn't even care that it's his body and his life on the line, he's just clinging to that last bit of Mondo he has.

Irony is hilarious and cruel in so many ways, Kiyondo later learns, in the last moment of his life, attacked by the man he wished he could kill. Taka would lose his love and himself after all and Kiyondo would lose his life, his life that was almost three days long.


End file.
